look mom, no hands.

i did some fairly extensive blog reconnaissance before deciding to take the plunge into interweb gut-spilling.

My newly appointed friend/life-coach Tommy encouraged me to do it as a way to flex my writing muscle. My main concern was first, what will I write about...and second, will I inevitably be grouped into a category of people who have taken to blogging as a way to share one of the creepiest forms of affection known to man: the collection of personal characteristics people assign to their pets.

The last person I want to affiliate myself with is the chick who devotes 3 hours a day to cataloging how many times her cat scowled at her when she broke the news about changing kitty litter brands. Or how different meows coupled with different blink patterns obviously mean different things. Pet Fluffy's Online Shrine.

Those people are terrifying.

Tommy assures me that this type of affliction isn't contagious, and I think that means if I'm not one of those kooks already and all my shots are up to date, I'm not in any imminent blog-related danger.

But back to the recon I did. I came in with an open mind and heart, and stumbled into the 'Blogs of Note.' As I clicked through the them, I slid further and further into the deepest, darkest and most random corners of the internet.

Blogs devoted to civil war memorabilia, horse grooming, zany animal pics, angsty poems. Art History discussions, political rantings, personal rantings, incoherent ramblings.

If you've ever gotten lost on facebook, myspace etc you might know what I mean.

Like when you start on a friend's page, and then bounce to someone else who you don't know but want to see their pictures closer (to criticize them more thoroughly, obviously) so you click on them, then the next thing you know you are on Lupita Jackson's page perusing her awkwardly-angled baby shower photos from three summers ago and suddenly snap back to reality and go W T F am I doing with my life???? (see awkwardfamilyphotos.com if you need an idea of what kind of people we're working with here)

Nevertheless, I still want to do this. Despite some of the oddities I've noted, I think it will still be fun.

Tommy said to write about the mishaps and misadventures of bartending.

I shot back, "Look, I'm more than just bartending! I'm deep ok??!"

Ok, maybe this won't be deep. But I can tell you one thing you won't ever see here, and that's an apology for "random musings and the like." I was slightly peeved that in each blog I explored, the author felt the need to justify his or her self-described 'musings' with a humble disclaimer about this being "just a little place for me to ramble about whatever thoughts I have at the moment."

Truth is, i treat just about any forum as such. And I don't plan to warn you that random thoughts will follow. That ruins all the fun.