Saturday, December 5, 2009

the writing's on the wall

The way I see it, there are at least a couple flavors of old people.

((Dad, I'm talking about really old, senior citizens...not you. You can't be really old yet if you are proficient and particularly current on the latest social networking trends.))

That said, I say at least two because I believe there may be hybrid variations, the ones that dont quite fit neatly into these categories (see new age marathon conquering power walkers who's silver lining is that they are in waaay better shape than their adult children...pun intended.) Nonetheless, I am standing by these two main types.

Some oldies are sweet, kind, virtuous and patient. They speak soft and deliberate gems of wisdom, and are rarely surprised by life's little woes. They like the kinds of slow and steady skill activities that I have no patience for. That is: everything in the sewing category including knitting, needlepoint, patchwork-quilt making and the like.
Baking, golf, tending garden, long and drawn out walking tours. I would like to add penuckle to this list but I haven't got a clue what it is or how it's played, so I can't. I just know they like it.

Which brings me to the other type, and my concern. Some oldies are stubborn, ornery, and firmly steadfast in their belief that things in their day were considerably better than the day we live in now. Nevermind the major technological advancements that have prolonged life and eased human suffering... and the Internet kind of made a splash... those are baby games compared to the advent of prohibition and flapper-chic. They complain, cajole, prejudge, and constantly insist that their soup is too cold no matter how scalding hot it really is. (Please see for a version of this that is an entertaining example because its not our blood relative).

Point being, I feel like I've inadvertently sealed my fate in 'which oldie are you' catagory. I think a quick rundown of some facts about me will illuminate everything:

I lack patience
can't play penuckle
I look funny power walking
I'm prone to whining
I love soup

My only hope is

its like looking into a crystal ball of doom.


  1. Thanks for the “…..but not you Dad” preamble. I know I walk that fine line between the “tech savvy early adopter of new gadgets” kind of guy, and that creepy old man hanging out on facebook who thinks he’s still twenty something and wants to friend you…. Ask some my facebook friends!

    By the way, cold soup is underrated, everyone looks funny speed walking, and while it is true that one might argue that Pinochle is a card game, in Oklahoma and Texas they call thumb wrestling Pinochle. The two games, however, are not related. And yes, I spent a year in OKC one day…..

  2. thanks for enlightening me on the spelling...i went with the trusty 1st grade sound it out method, insted of the tech savvy google to preserve fragile ego option. and i know your spelling skills so im betting you did the latter :)